the obsession, the feelings, the withdrawal.ĪLI: Didn't drugs feel real good the first time you tried 'em?įEZCO: Yeah. was the best thing that's happened to me in a while, so.ĪLI: Does the way in which you feel about her remind you of anything?ĪLI: You know, like. And I guess that hanging out with her was. And now it's gonna be really, really, really. I mean, she's a new friend, but we hang out every day. RUE: Open the fucking door! Fuck!ĪLI: Rue, you know that drug addicts don't reach out for help unless there's no options. I didn't really have anybody else to call.ĪLI: Well, what happened to make you call? RUE: But sometimes I just sit and think.ĪLI: Rue, I don't give a shit. And they're just reaching for something to make it all seem meaningful. whether it be, like, their, their families or their boyfriends or their hashtag activism. you realize they're all just fucked up, too. like, their profiles or their posts and their Tumblr rants. You know? Like, when I look at my mom or. And every time I admit that to people, they're like, "Oh, my gosh, that's so sad." But. You know, like, I'm not dying to say or do anything, really. RUE: There's nothing I'm really passionate about. Plus, that was before she fell for Tyler, like, hard, like, really hard. She even said it to her once, which was probably a mistake, for, like, a lot of reasons. How they'd live together in some shitty New York apartment, and maybe date other people, but always sleep in the same bed. And although she had never really been in a relationship or even in, like, love, she imagined spending the rest of her life with her. 'Cause that was the night she met her new best friend. That none of it was real, and if it was, how did it matter? It's not like her body ever really belonged to her in the first place. She was just a character in a book or a movie or a show. RUE: And whenever anything got too uncomfortable.Jules would just imagine that she wasn't really herself, and this wasn't really her life. GUY: I mean, I'm a hundred percent straight. And every guy was the same: cis, white, married, engaged, in long-term relationships, and always, always. And by 16, Jules had gotten a little slutty. And her dad quit his job to be closer to home, which she liked, 'cause she loved her dad. RUE: Eventually Jules got better and came home. JULES: Allan? I did something really stupid. None of them healthy, and a few scary enough to land her in. So, Jules developed a few coping mechanisms. She hated her life, not because it was bad, but because when you hate your brain and your body, it's hard to enjoy the rest. Plus her ankles, and her big, fucking, stupid feet. She hated her body, not every part, just her shoulders, and her arms, and her hands. RUE: She didn't just hate her brain, though. JULES: And it would just play on an infinite loop, until she couldn't think or breathe or stand to be alive.ĭAVID: This is hard, Jules. the way it would get stuck on a thought, like choking. I've been on, like, ma bunch of medications, but nothing's really helped, so. And I've been to see, like, a bunch of doctors. JULES: Maybe since I was seven or eight or something. Maybe because I was, like, sad for a really long time.ĭR. Why don't you tell the group a little about yourself and why you're here. But quickly, that guilt turned into anger. RUE: During the ensuing struggle, Jules accidentally scratched an RA across the face, which she felt really guilty about. JULES: Mom! Mom! No, no, no, no, no! No! No! No! It was an elaborate plan to admit her to a fucking psychiatric hospital. RUE: And that's when Jules realized, this wasn't a tour at all. RUE: It was around then when Jules thought she had just about had enough of the tour. KAY: You just bought yourself another 30 minutes in the quiet room, Jesse. KAY: Usually there's two to a room, depending on how many patients are with us.ĭR. So, this is our common area, where we have group sessions, watch movies, play games, have art class. KAY: Think of it like a second home, where children can learn how to feel better about themselves.ĭR. After the session, they wanted to give her a tour of the Unit. They talked for over an hour, and only later did Jules realize that she hadn't lied once. RUE: He was actually really sweet, though. PSYCHIATRIST: Was he? I hadn't heard that before. JULES: Wasn't Dali, like, a sexual predator? RUE: When Jules was eleven years old, her mother took her on a road trip. JULES: I don't understand why we have to drive seven hours to see a psychiatrist.ĪMY: Because.
0 Comments
Leave a Reply. |
AuthorWrite something about yourself. No need to be fancy, just an overview. ArchivesCategories |